December bluez

It is now December and I am once again sitting on the same brown couch, with sun on the left side of my face.  Actually, it's also on the front of my face because as the days draw darker and closer to solstice, the sun moves more and more south for both sunrise and sunset.  Shadows get longer -- blue against the snow and the stubbly bits of golden wheat in the fields shines like a lion's mane.

I wrote last blog that I would like to write more the month of November.

And I did.

But it wasn't here.

I started a story that I have going on the lap top, and that is cool.  It is a way to process some of what has been going on inside me.

In practical terms, I spent much of November directing a play.  A heart-forward beautiful musical for the Studio Stage here in Rosebud.  I encouraged the players to be brave, honest, and mindful of ensemble.  And audiences have appreciated it a lot.

I got to design the show as well, and I find the warm vibrant colors in the set and costumes very pleasing.

I did a good job.

So why do I feel heavy?

Why do I feel a let down?

(...His eye is on the sparrow... yes, I know... )

I realize that most people around are stressed or tired or sick, or any combination of those things, and they may not have eyes to really see me.

I need to hold on to the truth of what I know about myself and let others be themselves.  I can't allow myself to be so disappointed, because whether they know it or not, I have been brave and kind.